Care packages for chemo patients?

**samandbendrivemetodrink** · 02-06-2012, 05:53 PM

Sorry to be a downer, but I was wondering if anybody any ideas on items to put in a care package for somebody going through chemo? Fortunately, I have never had anybody close to me go through cancer so I am not really sure where to start. I am guessing any sort of food or drink might be iffy.

One of my best friends was diagnosed with an aggressive stage 2 breast cancer in early November. She underwent a double mastectomy right before Christmas and just started her 20-week chemo process last Thursday. She lives in Colorado so there is little I can do for her, but I want to show her that I care somehow.

I know I have mentioned her on the boards or in chat. She is my former neighbor and fellow college hoops girlie. She is a UNC grad and HUGE fan. I try not to hold that against her in light of the fact that she is the only girlfriend I have ever had that truly gets my obsession. Ever since I moved to Seattle, we would get together once a year in March/April for a college hoops trip. We have done a first/second round site trip, Las Vegas for the first weekend, the Big 12 tournament, and the best of all: Our 2008 trip to San Antonio to see both our teams in the Final Four.

This is how awesome she is: I sat next to her during that semi-final game. It was a true test of our friendship. She looked at me toward the end of the game and said, "it's ok. I understand if you want to scream." Then after the game when we were walking back to the Riverwalk to drink, I was complaining that I was cold and that my phone was dead. She offered to go back to the room for a bit so she could get my jacket and charge my phone for a bit for me. She said she didn't want me to miss a minute of that night celebrating with my Jayhawks. Then on Monday she decided not to go to the game but instead went to Rita's (the KU bar) to watch it just so that she could save me and my KU friends a good seat since we knew it would be a zoo right after the game regardless of the outcome. When I got to Rita's, she had saved us a whole table right in the big courtyard (party central) and there was a bucket of cold beer waiting. I knew that whole weekend had been so hard for her in light of the outcome, but when she saw me she gave me a big hug and said she was so happy for me and that I deserved it more than her. Then she did the Rock Chalk chant with me.

She is clearly a better person than me.

Nobody deserves to get cancer. But she ESPECIALLY doesn't deserve it.

Our March trip won't happen this year because she will be knee-deep in chemo. So I really want to do something extra special for her. Any ideas would be me appreciated!

*as well as any good thoughts and prayers. fyi, some of you have met her before (Jefe, Gravy, Gard...maybe a few more. She was at Harbour that one night with me after the KU basketball game. She is so awesome that she even went to Lawrence with me for a weekend just to see a game in AFH).

(sorry for the long post)

**ICThawk** · 02-06-2012, 06:39 PM

I have a friend who has Lupus and has been in and out of the hospital lately. In fact she is getting a kidney transplant tomorrow.

Spending so much time in the hospital or feeling terrible she liked getting things that would occupy her mind. She always said her fav gift was a coloring book. Was so childish, but was easy to get into and take her mind off the situation.

**AJC** · 02-06-2012, 09:31 PM

I think a scrapbook would be cool. Fill it with basketball related stuff, pictures of you two doing all of that... stuff that will bring back memories and make her smile.

**samandbendrivemetodrink** · 02-06-2012, 11:03 PM

Originally Posted by ICThawk

I have a friend who has Lupus and has been in and out of the hospital lately. In fact she is getting a kidney transplant tomorrow.

Spending so much time in the hospital or feeling terrible she liked getting things that would occupy her mind. She always said her fav gift was a coloring book. Was so childish, but was easy to get into and take her mind off the situation.

Wow....best wishes to your friend tomorrow. I hope she comes out of it with flying colors!

**ICThawk** · 02-07-2012, 06:37 AM

Originally Posted by samandbendrivemetodrink

Wow....best wishes to your friend tomorrow. I hope she comes out of it with flying colors!

I see what you did there. Well played.

Sherlock · 02-07-2012, 07:26 AM

Shampoo

**Oobers** · 02-07-2012, 07:29 AM

lol

Sherlock · 02-07-2012, 07:40 AM

Originally Posted by ICThawk

I have a friend who has Lupus and has been in and out of the hospital lately. In fact she is getting a kidney transplant tomorrow.

Spending so much time in the hospital or feeling terrible she liked getting things that would occupy her mind. She always said her fav gift was a coloring book. Was so childish, but was easy to get into and take her mind off the situation.

Holy crap. It's never lupus.

**sweaterbydarwin** · 02-07-2012, 08:35 AM

Sorry for your friend, S&B. She's lucky to have you. As far as what to give her, I'm sure you can google it and find lots of ideas; candies to clear the taste, little toothbrushes, hand sanitzer, kleenex. I don't think it will be near as important as just being there though. Distance is a problem but Facetiming with her and writing her encouraging notes, sending her good mixes to listen to will have to suffice. As with all sickness, people tend to be real supportive at first and then fall away. So, just be there in whatever context you can.

**sweaterbydarwin** · 02-07-2012, 08:53 AM

while we're on the subject, my daughter's class at school had a Wax Museum day where they were given a famous person and had to dress up and give a speech, etc. She has a kid in her class that has cancer and chose to be Danny Thomas from St. Jude's. Paper came out and a few TV stations. Anyway, my sister asked my daughter how it all went, and she said, " it was OK but the boy with brain cancer got all the attention." Raising her right, folks.

**Gem** · 02-07-2012, 09:28 AM

Really sorry to hear this. I’ve had two friends go through chemo in the last 6 months – breast cancer and testicular cancer. My situation was a little different, because both live in Kansas City, so we could visit, bring meals, etc. With my friend who had breast cancer, she has a husband and kids, so a bunch of us stepped in to make meals for them, or buy gift cards to restaurants near their house. I know it was a big relief to her not to worry about making dinner for her family. The biggest thing she told me, was she got really sick of everyone being so damn positive about cancer. She knew that she had a great shot at beating it, but sometimes, she just wanted someone to commiserate with her. Cancer sucks, it’s OK to say it.

With the other friend, in addition to some of the normal things, he got an iPad to help pass the time, so we loaded up an iTunes gift card, so he could buy movies, games, etc. If your friend has an iDevice, I’d suggest that.

Happy to report that both are now cancer free, and their prognoses for a long healthy life are great.

**lessbigzee** · 02-07-2012, 09:55 AM

book 'o crosswords

**GardArmighty** · 02-07-2012, 10:05 AM

Hey SABDM,

I do remember her and what a great person she is. I'm so sorry to hear about her challenges.

I don't have any real advice for the Care Package, but in the end, it's not what's in it- it's the thought that counts.

If she is going to be spending a lot of time in the hospital, puzzle books, magazines, and other time wasters are always good. Food items aren't always a good idea because of the presence of nausea and/or mouth sores. Makeup items are good, because you always think you look like shit in the hospital, and especially after chemo I'm sure one can feel less than beautiful (even thought they're as beautiful as always). Feeling like you have some control in an out-of-control situation has a calming, stabilizing, and uplifting effect. Speaking of nausea, how about throwing in a video of a UNC Nat'l Championship game? You may get lupus from it, but she'll appreciate it.

Please tell her that I'm thinking of her and that I wish her the best.

**samandbendrivemetodrink** · 02-07-2012, 10:51 AM

Thank you guys for the suggestions.

I have already stocked up on funny greeting cards to send her about once a week. I really want her to know that I haven't forgot about her. I thought about surprising her and going to her in March for the first round of the tournament, but that is Ben's birthday weekend and I can't really be gone...maybe I will do the second weekend. I would love to just sit on her couch in our pajamas all weekend and watch the games. I would have to run that by her husband first to make sure she is up for it (I have another close friend that lives in the same neighborhood that I could stay with).

One more funny story: Her surgeon for her mastectomy happened to be a KU grad and big college hoops fan. Right before she went in for her surgery, I sent a text to her telling her that I just spoke with her surgeon and he agreed to carve "I don't give a shit about North Carolina" into her new and improved boobs. She loved it. I just want to keep her laughing through this.

**LimeHawk** · 02-07-2012, 11:16 AM

My Dad went through several rounds of chemo with his lung cancer. It was strange how the reactions were never the same. I know he hated the chemo, but, he did it for us. I would try various things to hopefully hit on something that worked, tasted good or made him feel better. I guess that would be my advise, don't be upset or hurt if something you try doesn't hit the spot because in reality they don't know either. Just that they know that you are there for them and that you would do anything you possibly could to make them feel better will go a long way.

**sweaterbydarwin** · 02-07-2012, 12:17 PM

Being from CO, she needs to make sure her doc gives her a weed prescription. Totally serious, if she needs a recommendation my friend owns one of the larger dispensaries in Denver. They have everything you could ever need and guaranteed it will make her feel better. I could have him hook her up with some samples of things if she was so willing. i.e edibles, lollipops, candies, pills, tinctures. She doesn't have to smoke it.

**Joe Norris** · 02-07-2012, 12:18 PM

Originally Posted by sweaterbydarwin

Being from CO, she needs to make sure her doc gives her a weed prescription. Totally serious, if she needs a recommendation, my friend owns one of the larger dispensaries in Denver. They have everything you could ever need and guaranteed it will make her feel better. I could have him hook her up with some samples of things if she was so willing.

Perhaps she'll...put it in her brownie?

**sweaterbydarwin** · 02-07-2012, 12:23 PM

he sells them already made, along with a ton of other "baked" goods.

**Joe Norris** · 02-07-2012, 12:25 PM

Originally Posted by sweaterbydarwin

he sells them already made, along with a ton of other "baked" goods.

was an AD reference...to lighten the mood

**Jhawkz5** · 02-07-2012, 12:25 PM

Originally Posted by samandbendrivemetodrink

One more funny story: Her surgeon for her mastectomy happened to be a KU grad and big college hoops fan.

Where did she get her surgery done? One of my good friends is from CO and his dad got diagnosed with cancer and his doctor was a KU grad and big hoops fan too. It was really great for my friend's dad as they had something they could bond over.

**samandbendrivemetodrink** · 02-07-2012, 12:25 PM

Originally Posted by sweaterbydarwin

Being from CO, she needs to make sure her doc gives her a weed prescription. Totally serious, if she needs a recommendation my friend owns one of the larger dispensaries in Denver. They have everything you could ever need and guaranteed it will make her feel better. I could have him hook her up with some samples of things if she was so willing. i.e edibles, lollipops, candies, pills, tinctures. She doesn't have to smoke it.

I will TOTALLY run that by her. (she will probably still want to smoke it, though....ha)

**samandbendrivemetodrink** · 02-07-2012, 12:26 PM

Originally Posted by Jhawkz5

Where did she get her surgery done? One of my good friends is from CO and his dad got diagnosed with cancer and his doctor was a KU grad and big hoops fan too. It was really great for my friend's dad as they had something they could bond over.

It was done in Fort Collins at Poudre Valley Hospital. This was her surgeon, and not her oncologist.

**GardArmighty** · 02-07-2012, 12:27 PM

Damn, couldn't embed the gif.

**samandbendrivemetodrink** · 02-12-2012, 08:23 PM

Just thought I would post this here in case anyone has any similar need. Just a few days after I started this thread, my old boss (yes, I actually did used to have a career) posted a link to a charitable foundation he just launched in honor of his wife, who passed away from breast cancer last July. Through this organization, you can purchase gift baskets specifically designed for people going through chemo. The basket costs $100 but is stuffed with amazing things that I had never even thought about. I love that I can send something unique and useful to my friend while also honoring my friend's late wife.

http://www.mariamatters.org/