Today I decided to visit a little website that I have heard good things about. It's a rebel KU Fan forum, and being the RockChalkJayBlogger I just HAD to take a peek. I noticed they had a wonderful FREE chat feature. How fantastic! I was so excited!!
Upon entering the chat I instantly felt at home! These were my people! So, to really bond with my new found friends I figured why not have them battle my evil nemesis!
While I just KNEW these people were now my friends, but they just didn't jump at my offer. I knew what these new friends needed. So I sweetened the pot!
Oh Diary, these new friends of mine just didn't seem to get it. I was going to have to force feed them this mission! So, I found out some of their twitter accounts and gave them DETAILED instructions!
Who the hell does this UB think she is? She KNOWS my nemesis? Diary, I couldn't let my new friends go on not knowing they Had a spy in their midst! So I outed this dangerous character!
Boy was that evil spy unhappy when I called her out! It was at this point that I knew what my mission of the night was. TO DESTROY THIS EVIL SPY!
You know Diary, I have amazing skills. My ability to use logic and reason to win arguments blows my mind. This spy doesn't know whats coming! I began to stalk my prey. A few minutes later the discussion had become rather boring. So, I knew it was the right time to pounce.
Diary? I have NO idea what happened. All of a sudden my new friends started turning on me! Luckily, using my amazing arsenal of literary tools, I pulled out all the stops. PENIS JOKES!
While I know my penis jokes had worked, I was still upset about this spy situation. So I took things to the next level of awesome. I posted a real picture of the spy for ALL to see! Then to pour salt in her wound, I called her names! At this point I knew I was winning the war!
But my new friends didn't seem to appreciate my effort!
Diary, I feel comfortable telling you that this really hurt my feelings! I was starting to thing these people weren't my friends after all! So, I decided to destroy them all with my skills!
I was really starting to feel hopeless. I felt backed into a corner. So, I reached into my bag of tricks and pulled out the ultimate tool. The Login/Logout maneuver! No one has seen this skill used since Bobby Fisher did it in 1987! I knew this would be epic! So I did it...
and did it...
and did it...
I just knew these people had to be amazed! No one can withstand the Login/Logout for that long. When I logged back in there was a NEW ENEMY!
I made the tough decision to try and lay low. This new prey needed to be stalked properly. I needed to wait for the perfect moment to strike. And boy oh boy Diary, the perfect moment came and I pounced!
Dear Diary, I cannot believe that jerk told me to tweet that rubbish! But don't worry Diary, I had a witty comback!
What happened? Diary, these people did NOT get my jokes! They didn't understand anything I was saying. It was almost as if they didn't like me! So I did what any awesome blogging man of a man would do....
When I went in to say GoodBye, they were so rude to me!
Then they posted pictures of me Diary! What kind of JERKS would post pictures of a person without their permission! Oh.... wait....
Good Night Diary!