What was the most horrific genitalia injury you ever endured

[TacoHut]

Someone mentioned sitting on a testicle, so what is the worst you ever went through.

I think mine would have to be the time I tore my sack going over a chain link fence. I was going skinny dipping. After that I learned to wait until I was actually at the pool before I got naked.

[samandbendrivemetodrink]

I was 10 years old and my dad stopped at QT to get a coffee. He handed it to me for a second while he was driving (I was sitting in the passenger seat) and he went over a bump and it spilled all over my crotch. I ended up in the ER with 2nd degree burns. I am surprised that I still enjoy sex after that mishap.

[TacoHut]

Haha firecrotch

[ElJefe58]

I tore my frenulum during some drunken schecks a few years back. It took a while to heal. So, so painful...

[Hoopo]

I had an Iowa MILF give me crotchrot one Memorial Day weekend. She was a gusher and I failed to wash that shit off immediately.

For my laziness I got a nasssssty fungus that lasted all goddamned summer. And the sex wasn't even that great. She knew her propensity to get gushy, so she had about six huge terrycloth towels to soak that shit up. What the hell was I thinking.

[The Sprouting Divot]

Cut up my bag trimming my pubes with some electric clippers last summer. The ensuing thread (enshrined in the Hall of Aidz) is probably the only thing of real value I ever brought to the Ape Room.


http://img440.imageshack.us/img440/9282/1473jeff.jpg

[bedouin]

Spring Break 06' in Mexico. Doing doggie with a random chick ;D, she moved during my return thrust and my dick basically bent in half :o. There was blood in the condom ??? . Intense pain :'(. I had a doctor's appointment scheduled immediately when we got back. Needless to say, she wanted me to keep going so I actually faked like I busted a nut and got the fuck out of there :-[.

[randysavage]

When I was 16 I was umpiring a machine pitch baseball game. The machine was set at 45 mph. The catcher short hopped the throw to the mound. The ball made contact with the wheel at which point the baseball was catapulted into my genitals at 45 mph. Shit sucked.

[The Sprouting Divot]

When I was 16 I was umpiring a machine pitch baseball game. The machine was set at 45 mph. The catcher short hopped the throw to the mound. The ball made contact with the wheel at which point the baseball was catapulted into my genitals at 45 mph. Shit sucked.


Solid first post, Randy.

Pretty goddamn macho, in fact.

[Liljohnny]

Cat fell asleep on my lap. Woke up quickly after a heavy night of drinking. Cat freaked (not declawed), and sprung out of its sleep. I freaked out and tossed cat against wall. Large cut on my johnson. Cat hit wall. Cat no longer alive.

[RandytheHelpfulPineapple]

After a few dates with this girl, we decided to do a movie night at my place with a bottle or two of wine. One thing led to another and we were grinding on the couch. Jeans on jeans friction doesn't do any favors to your junk, wheaters.

After about a half hour of this on and off, I resign to the fact that we aren't going to have teh_sechs. She wanted to, but it was too soon for her... yada, yada, yada. I convince her to stay the night, despite the fact that I'm in awful pain from both the burn I got from the friction and blue balls. Somewhere in the middle of the night, she gets a bit frisky and we have teh_sechs. Needless to say, it hurt and putting a tight condom on the problem wasn't doing me any favors.

The moral of the story: there ain't nothing wrong with a little bump and grind, but there IS something wrong with alot of bump and grind.

[ono]

Around 15, playing first base (without a cup, like a dumbass). Runner on first, line drive is hit to second. The second baseman catches it and fires a throw to me to catch the runner.

Unfortunately, the fucktard threw it in the dirt as the runner slid back. I lost the ball in the commotion, and the ball one-hopped it right into the boys.

I didn't walk right for a couple days.

[WhiteSuxDirtyBirds]

catching a game when I was about 15. Guy hits a foul ball into the dirt bounchs up and catches me right in the cup. Well one boy was right on the edge of the cup, so it pinched the boy against my leg and the edge of the cup. That ball got so black and blue and swollen. It was about the size of a baseball for 2 days.

Also broke up with a girl on Valentines Day. She kicked me right in nuts so hard it took all the wind out of me and I made some godawful sound. My friend said it sounded like a dieing calf.

[illinijhawk]

17 or so, playing HS baseball. I didn't like wearing a cup while running the bases, so I took it out when I came up to bat, wondering what could possibly go wrong. Third pitch take a violent hack at a fastball, hit it straight down on the plate where it rebounds straight up into my balls. I instantly crumpled. Too add insult to injury, the umpire called me out as I laid there in pain for making contact with a fair ball after a hit.

[Milo]

Man, I feel less of a man reading this thread. The worst I got was an inguinal hernia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Inguinal_hernia) in collage trying to lift an iron table at a picnic area. It was six week of light duty. I had it for about 3 days before I complained that it felt like I was getting flicked in the nuts 100% of the time. I freaked out that it was testicular cancer. Surgery ensued, I got better. Now my genitals are better than they were before. Better, stronger, faster.

I did get a soccer ball kicked in the balls in 7th grade during a game. It hurt, I wanted to throw up, but was better after a couple of hours.

Lucky enough not to have a torn scrot, bruised balls, or any bloody wounds on the shaft.

Edit: and no, that isn't my picture on the wiki link.

[illinijhawk]

For some reason I just had a flashback to 19 and playing basketball while a counselor at a camp in upstate NY. It was a camp counselor v. camp counselor game where we were playing some bozos from a different camp. These games were set up at night as entertainment for the older kids and occasionally things got a bit chippy as things are won't to do when you're dealing with 19-21 year old males playing competitive sports in front of kids that look up to them and hot female counselors they hope to impress.

We were beating up these guys pretty bad, but not letting up (admittedly poor form on our part). After a quick steal at half court, our guy goes running down for what was going to be a great dunk (he was 6'5" and athletic) and the guard from the other team had finally had enough. Rather than even faking an attempt at the ball, the defender just shoves our guy's legs from behind as he's lifting off, sending him into the basketball standard feet first.

As dumb luck would have it, his legs were failing about and he ended up flying into the standard, straddling it. He hit the pole directly on his nuts and then hit the court head first. WORST NUT INJURY EVAR. He was out cold instantly. They ended up taking him off the court on a stretcher and called in an Amber Lamps for a trip to the hospital. He was released the next day, but had an ice sack for his swollen nads for days afterwards. He claims they were all kinds of funky colors, but no verification of the veracity of his statement.

[The Sprouting Divot]

17 or so, playing HS baseball. I didn't like wearing a cup while running the bases, so I took it out when I came up to bat, wondering what could possibly go wrong.


So what exactly would you do with your cup during plate appearances? Just leave it sitting on the bench? Buried under a pile of loose dirt on the dugout floor? Chilling in the big Gatorade water cooler?

[LimeHawk]

Oxygen mask?

[illinijhawk]

17 or so, playing HS baseball. I didn't like wearing a cup while running the bases, so I took it out when I came up to bat, wondering what could possibly go wrong.


So what exactly would you do with your cup during plate appearances? Just leave it sitting on the bench? Buried under a pile of loose dirt on the dugout floor? Chilling in the big Gatorade water cooler?


Stuck it in the webbing of my catcher's mitt which I'd put in my bag . . . either that or let the ladies sniff it while I was away.

[SnackMantis]

I'm trying to decide how disgusted everyone will be if I tell the truth here. For now I'll just say "losing my virginity."

[WhiteSuxDirtyBirds]

I'm trying to decide how disgusted everyone will be if I tell the truth here. For now I'll just say "losing my virginity."


Nobody is scared of your story. Tell us the truth!

[ono]

I'm trying to decide how disgusted everyone will be if I tell the truth here. For now I'll just say "losing my virginity."


Nobody is scared of your story. Tell us the truth!


DO IT!!!

:mexican

[Milo]

I'm trying to decide how disgusted everyone will be if I tell the truth here. For now I'll just say "losing my virginity."


Nobody is scared of your story. Tell us the truth!


DO IT!!!

:mexican


There is no need to be inhibited here.

[sweaterbydarwin]

backdoor or frontdoor? Does it involve a dildo chair like in Burn After Reading?

That's a story as old as time.



I'm trying to decide how disgusted everyone will be if I tell the truth here. For now I'll just say "losing my virginity."

[SnackMantis]

I have a feeling I'm going to regret this.

Okay, when I was first got my period my mom gave me pads because, well, that's what she uses. After a few months I figured out that all of the cool girls at school used tampons so I decided I wanted to switch to tampons. So I try putting tampons in and they never fit. And I mean, yeah, I was 14 but seriously no vagina is THAT small that a tampon isn't going to fit in there. I tell my mom and one day she buys me the teeny-tiny tampon version and, wow, it fits. So I go to a movie and the mall and I go to take my tampon out and it DOES NOT come out. I'm too embarrassed to tell my friend so I figure I'll wait until I go home to talk to my mom about it. By the time I get home the tampon has been in for around seven or eight hours. When I was taught about sex ed the teacher was really passionate about TSS and scared us all half to death about it, so I was positive that I was going to get TSS if I left it in any longer. My mom looks at my vag to see what's up because I still can't get it out and there's a piece of skin bridging one side of my vag to the other. And it's pretty big. Basically the tampon was tiny enough to get in on one side and then expanded. So my mom drives me to see her gyno, I'm hysterical because I'm totally going to die from TSS and all the gyno can do is cut the skin off to get the tampon out of there. Blood fucking everywhere (from the skin, not my period blood) and I was in SO much pain. It was horrible.

...

:mexican

[SnackMantis]

backdoor or frontdoor? Does it involve a dildo chair like in Burn After Reading?

That's a story as old as time.



I'm trying to decide how disgusted everyone will be if I tell the truth here. For now I'll just say "losing my virginity."



I'm no humbert. ;)

[thedeerehunter]

I have a feeling I'm going to regret this.

Okay, when I was first got my period my mom gave me pads because, well, that's what she uses. After a few months I figured out that all of the cool girls at school used tampons so I decided I wanted to switch to tampons. So I try putting tampons in and they never fit. And I mean, yeah, I was 14 but seriously no vagina is THAT small that a tampon isn't going to fit in there. I tell my mom and one day she buys me the teeny-tiny tampon version and, wow, it fits. So I go to a movie and the mall and I go to take my tampon out and it DOES NOT come out. I'm too embarrassed to tell my friend so I figure I'll wait until I go home to talk to my mom about it. By the time I get home the tampon has been in for around seven or eight hours. When I was taught about sex ed the teacher was really passionate about TSS and scared us all half to death about it, so I was positive that I was going to get TSS if I left it in any longer. My mom looks at my vag to see what's up because I still can't get it out and there's a piece of skin bridging one side of my vag to the other. And it's pretty big. Basically the tampon was tiny enough to get in on one side and then expanded. So my mom drives me to see her gyno, I'm hysterical because I'm totally going to die from TSS and all the gyno can do is cut the skin off to get the tampon out of there. Blood fucking everywhere (from the skin, not my period blood) and I was in SO much pain. It was horrible.

...

:mexican


So your Mom's gyno got your cherry?

[ElJefe58]

Holy fucking shit, Snack. That sounds horrible.

[JackLord]

I have a feeling I'm going to regret this.

Okay, when I was first got my period my mom gave me pads because, well, that's what she uses. After a few months I figured out that all of the cool girls at school used tampons so I decided I wanted to switch to tampons. So I try putting tampons in and they never fit. And I mean, yeah, I was 14 but seriously no vagina is THAT small that a tampon isn't going to fit in there. I tell my mom and one day she buys me the teeny-tiny tampon version and, wow, it fits. So I go to a movie and the mall and I go to take my tampon out and it DOES NOT come out. I'm too embarrassed to tell my friend so I figure I'll wait until I go home to talk to my mom about it. By the time I get home the tampon has been in for around seven or eight hours. When I was taught about sex ed the teacher was really passionate about TSS and scared us all half to death about it, so I was positive that I was going to get TSS if I left it in any longer. My mom looks at my vag to see what's up because I still can't get it out and there's a piece of skin bridging one side of my vag to the other. And it's pretty big. Basically the tampon was tiny enough to get in on one side and then expanded. So my mom drives me to see her gyno, I'm hysterical because I'm totally going to die from TSS and all the gyno can do is cut the skin off to get the tampon out of there. Blood fucking everywhere (from the skin, not my period blood) and I was in SO much pain. It was horrible.

...

:mexican


So your Mom's gyno got your cherry?


in a way...i think snack just got WtW's cherry

[LimeHawk]

+1

[samandbendrivemetodrink]

Holy fucking shit, Snack. That sounds horrible.

yeah, if this were a contest Snack would win. I might not uncross my legs the rest of the day.

[SnackMantis]

Holy fucking shit, Snack. That sounds horrible.

yeah, if this were a contest Snack would win. I might not uncross my legs the rest of the day.


Let's just say I didn't use tampons for a very long time after that.

[ElJefe58]

Holy fucking shit, Snack. That sounds horrible.

yeah, if this were a contest Snack would win. I might not uncross my legs the rest of the day.


Let's just say I didn't use tampons for a very long time after that.


I'm never using tampons again!
















Uhh, I mean, I'm never using them for nosebleeds again.

[samandbendrivemetodrink]

Holy fucking shit, Snack. That sounds horrible.

yeah, if this were a contest Snack would win. I might not uncross my legs the rest of the day.


Let's just say I didn't use tampons for a very long time after that.

On the brightside, childbirth should be a breeze for you.

[sweaterbydarwin]

http://img834.imageshack.us/img834/6339/fuuuud.gif

[SnackMantis]

That's perfect. Except, to be clear, it wasn't the hymen. It was like...skin skin.

[RandytheHelpfulPineapple]

JFC. Snack wins by a mile.

[BetterThanMost]

Not my injury, but a kid told me this story about his brother one day at high school basketball practice:

His brother was working a job where he needed a power drill and it involved climbing a ladder. (I think he may have been roofing.) Anyway he put the drill in his waistband to climb the ladder. Something on the ladder got caught and it hit the trigger on the power drill. The drill twisted into his pubes and ripped into his ballsac.

Now that is how you RaT

[Here4thegangbang]

Mine was just a kick to the groin. However, it was in 7th grade and I made some kind of smartass comment to a girl. She turned around and went Janikowski on my nutz. I immediately dropped to the floor and stayed there for about 15 minutes. After that, my friends convinced this girl how badly it hurt. I don't think she ever did that to anyone again. Not as bad as Snack's story, but still made an impression on me for these past 16 years.

[Hoopo]

I have a feeling I'm going to regret this.

Okay, when I was first got my period my mom gave me pads because, well, that's what she uses. After a few months I figured out that all of the cool girls at school used tampons so I decided I wanted to switch to tampons. So I try putting tampons in and they never fit. And I mean, yeah, I was 14 but seriously no vagina is THAT small that a tampon isn't going to fit in there. I tell my mom and one day she buys me the teeny-tiny tampon version and, wow, it fits. So I go to a movie and the mall and I go to take my tampon out and it DOES NOT come out. I'm too embarrassed to tell my friend so I figure I'll wait until I go home to talk to my mom about it. By the time I get home the tampon has been in for around seven or eight hours. When I was taught about sex ed the teacher was really passionate about TSS and scared us all half to death about it, so I was positive that I was going to get TSS if I left it in any longer. My mom looks at my vag to see what's up because I still can't get it out and there's a piece of skin bridging one side of my vag to the other. And it's pretty big. Basically the tampon was tiny enough to get in on one side and then expanded. So my mom drives me to see her gyno, I'm hysterical because I'm totally going to die from TSS and all the gyno can do is cut the skin off to get the tampon out of there. Blood fucking everywhere (from the skin, not my period blood) and I was in SO much pain. It was horrible.

...

:mexican




HOT

[WhiteSuxDirtyBirds]

Holy fucking shit, Snack. That sounds horrible.

yeah, if this were a contest Snack would win. I might not uncross my legs the rest of the day.


Third kid in the oven. I didn't think you knew how to cross them! ;D

[pieces of eight]

Yeah, torn vag = win.

[Hoopo]

Yeah, torn vag = boner.

[Geezer]

Snack does have a great personality.

[pieces of eight]

I'm just glad she was able to avoid the bears....'cause they can smell it, you know.

[randysavage]

I stopped reading at "Okay, when I was first got my period"...